More candy, anyone?

(It helps to read this post as fast as you can. You'll know what I mean when you try.)

Helped some friends hook up a new computer yesterday and, let me tell you, I was a kid in a candy store. They were all like "Don't go too fast. Take it easy. You want a soda?" and I was all like "You need to insert your digital camera's SD, that's Secure Digital, card here into the front panel card reader, then use this little program here to upload the photos, then you can email them after you shrink their size, and you can just double click this icon here to take you to the internet." and they were all like "Dude, you just lost me. Slow down!" and I was all like "This computer will need a memory upgrade. You see, it shares some of its memory with the onboard graphics driver, so it is low anyway, but Windows XP requires at least 256 Megs of RAM to work efficiently, so you should add a 128 Meg stick of RAM, but then you can even get a stick of 256 Meg RAM for just a little more money which I would recommend. Of course I would recommend at least 512 Megs of RAM and a dedicated Graphics card." and they were all like "OK. Where can we buy the RAM?" to which I replied "The best place to get RAM would be the internet, but if you don't want to wait we can get it at Fry's." Then I remembered: "This computer doesn't have a floppy disk drive, and I noticed you have floppy disks that you still access. I would suggest that you buy a USB flash drive." to which they replied "What's that?" and I said "Well, since you don't really use floppy disks all that much, you could save some money by buying a flash drive, and using the floppy drive you have at work to put all your personal stuff from your floppy disks into one folder, then plugging in your flash drive, and putting the folder on it and then you can take it anywhere and it is much better than buying and installing a floppy drive if you rarely use it." and I added "I would suggest that when you want to purchase one, look at Fry's newspaper ads to see if you can find a deal on one. They always have good deals like that" But then, I realized that their old computer had data that needed to be transferred over to the new computer and I didn't want to open it up and take out the drive and install it into the new computer and set it as a slave and pull the data over that way, and I told them this, so I decided to try to set up a network between the two computers, but failed the first attempt, so I decided to wait until I could ask someone at work about whether or not I could even do that, before I went the long way and opened up the old computer, took out the hard drive, etc. This I also told my friends. To put it mildly, they were exhausted after my whole spiel.

More candy, anyone?