The Fantastic Four **

Retitle to: the unnecessary film.

If you've seen Spiderman, if you've seen X-Men, if you've seen Batman Begins, then you don't need to see this movie. There are much better comic book movies out there, so don't bother.

I was invited to a free trade screening last night at the Cinemark Tinsletown in Plano. At least if it was free.

The Fantastic Four is about these four cats who go into space to prepare for the oncoming wave of some sort of energy that, according to the lead character, is the supposed source of evolution on earth. If they can harness this energy, they can create new medicine to help the sick, they can help mankind evolve in better ways, yada yada. Well, long story short, they go up there, but the energy wave hits hours before planned, and they are pelted with it, and it alters their DNA in fantastic ways. Funny how it has completely different effects for every character, 'cause what's the point of having four fantastic heroes with the same boring power?

So after the blast wave hits, the movie cuts to the hospital, after they got back to earth, and all the peeps in the theater wondered if the projectionist had missed a reel. If the movie is really cut this way, someone should fire the editor.

The main drawback with this film is it's too convenient. They have the uniforms, so why not be superheroes? One of them is bad, so of course they have use their new powers to fight him. Two of our heroes are old flames, so they'll have to get back together in the end. One of them is a human rock, so naturally his wife will abandon him, and the only one who truly understands him is blind, but she knows better than to judge someone on outward apperance, so they must get together. The bad guy is defeated in the end, but there has to be a sequel, so we'd better keep bring him back somehow. Also, the bad guy doesn't like his new outward apperance, so he wears a mask, which was a present from a fictional country for his work there, so naturally the helmet is bulletproof and really evil-looking. Plus there's plenty of stupid dialog and bad one-liners, so you'll at least get a good laugh. I was disappointed with the dumbness of the flick, only because the actors do such a good job with their dopey characters. Ioan Gruffudd, who plays Mr. Fantastic, does a wonderful job, as do the other Fantastic 2. Sorry, but Jessica Alba is only there for eye candy.

This film will get some decent box office, but it will be very disappointing to folks who are expecting another Spiderman. Repeat business, this film will NOT get.