The Prequels

Now I would like to chime in on how I feel about the prequels to The Holy Trilogy. Much has been said about the quality of these movies compared to their immortal older bretheren. I think it is safe to say that these films are just like younger brothers. The youngest, The Phantom Menace, is mostly a children's flick, with very little good dialog. Make no mistake, the quality of the visuals and sounds is phenominal, and the presentation is nothing short of amazing. After watching the film again and again, for me it just gets worse and worse. 8(
In respect to this movie, the first time I saw it in the theater remains to this day the best theatrical experience of my life. It was as if the theater was just upgraded with the most powerful, distortion-free sound system money could buy. Every person in attendance felt the deepest gut-rattling bass in the history of the cinema! From the first ship fly-by, we knew we were in for a huge treat. My Dad and I just looked at eachother with eyes a bulgin' and said "WOW!" We were mesmerized from beginning to end, leaving the theater so jazzed up that we did not come down from the high for days! Unfortunately, the power of the big screen sometimes masks the underlying truth. Compared to its immortal bretheren, this film was utter trash. Nothing more can be said about it. Some of the acting is dry as the Sahara and flat as a board. Padme Amidala is dull personified. I like Natalie Portman and think she is a good actress, but her Padme is read with such dead monotonous tones that she takes all the energy out of a scene. Other scenes, such as the onset of the sandstorm on Tatooine is met with such deadpan readings as: "This storm will slow them down." -Obi Wan Kenobi "Looks pretty bad." -Captain Panaka
I am not even going to go into the Jake Lloyd thing. There is too much animosity there. Let's just say that if Haley Joel Osment had been in that role...magic. Nothing to expect but magic. Too bad.
Also, the phrase: "Be mindful" was used far too many times. It seems Lucas has lost his ability to write clever dialog. Other additions to this film were just plain tedious. Take for example the pod race. The original version, shown only as a deleted scene on the DVD, went on for so long it could have been its own movie! That two headed announcer was the perfect example of Yin/Yang. The non-English speaking one was great. The English speaking one was so bloody annoying I wanted to wring its neck to shut it up!!!! The darned thing only seemed to know how to begin a sentence with the words "Looks like" or "I see". Once again, George has lost his touch with dialog. Little things like the many-armed alien offering food to onlookers was just stupid.
Next big thing: Jar Jar. Never before has one singular character caused so much of an uproar in the Star Wars community. His hard to understand method of speaking was so "Rastafarian" in nature it offended many. His plucky comic relief was seen as completely unfunny by most. I though he was cool, but used far too much and overstayed his welcome. He did have some really good lines, though. My personal favorite is "More...more did you spake??" One question about Jar Jar. Why on earth did he go with Qui Gon to the settlement on Tatooine looking for replacement parts? Did he have ANY VALID REASON WHATSOEVER to go along? Not only does he have trouble with the blazing sun, but the ONLY thing he does while he's there is get in the way and cause trouble. I thought Qui Gon had more sense than that. Yes, George, we know you and your ILM can create very lifelike purely digital characters, but you really went overboard with this one.

And now to the next chapter: Attack of the Clones. Now this I like. It is a definite step in the right direction for the Star Wars universe. It holds up to repeat viewings much more than its predecessor. The atmosphere of this movie is more in tune with the style of the originals. Dialog has improved somewhat. It doesn't seem as childish and dull. John Williams score really shines this time around. The themes are much more dramatic and have a sweeping epic feel. The love theme between Amidala and Skywalker is wonderful. Williams hits another home run with this one. Also, the scenes on Kamino with the rain and the dark clouds have the perfect score to compliment it. Very moody and uncertain. Hayden Christensen is good as Anakin, albeit a little inexperienced. He has the perfect look for Vader's alter ego. The preliminary pictures of him in Episode III are just sweet. He looks wicked and darkly powerful. Can you just imagine if Titanic boy had gotten this part??? Leonardo DiCaprio would have been utterly wrong for Anakin Skywalker. Thank the stars above that didn't happen! Also, Ewan McGregor looks even more like the great Obi Wan we all know and love. His banter with Skywalker on the proper way to follow orders is perfect! When Anakin asks defiantly if Obi's senses are truly that "attuned" he shoots back, almost with surprise that his padawan is treating him with such disrespect, "Possibly". This is probably my favorite line of the movie! Only a very good actor could pull this off so well. I was not so pleased with Christopher Lee's performance. Coming off the heels of some of the greatest movies of our generation, I was expecting dark, evil magic. I got no such luck. Lee's seething, superb performance as Saruman is eons better than his portrayal of Count Dooku. (Stupid name! I mean really George! A name similar to "dookie"???) His Saruman is old, but very powerful. Dooku just looks old. He is not the least bit intimidating. When the force lightning comes out of his hands, I am not afraid or impressed. The lightsaber fights with him are bad too. That face applied to the stunt double's head looks just horrible. Entirely unconvincing. Not at all worthy of ILM. Another disappointment was Sam Jackson. I like him and think he is a great actor. He was a little better in The Phantom Menace. Only a little. He gets the facial expressions right, but the reading of his lines is just too difficult to accept. Did like the purple saber, though. Nice touch. ;)
My biggest caveat was the Jedi showdown at Genosis. Just about every Jedi looked so corny and so campy. Those goofy expressions and poses. I couldn't help but laugh. George has successfully turned the Jedi into a laughing stock. No wonder they were all wiped out. Didn't much like the clone troopers either. They still don't look real enough. They still look painfully computer generated. They don't even live up to the movie's namesake. They aren't really attacking, they are merely following Yoda's orders to help the Jedi and rescue Obi Wan. Funny how the Star Wars community came up with so many good jokes about the title of the movie.

I am so excited to finally see the story complete. Episode III is most definitely going to make up for the first, and will make the second more enjoyable. If it is truly the darkest of the six movies, it will cap it all off splendidly. At least George is going in the right direction. Oh, and one more thing. YODA RULES!!!! That little firecracker can swing a saber like nobody's business. The Force is strong in this one.

p.s. How about those love scenes? Riding cow-size ticks in the field? Rolling around in the meadow? Frolicking? Intimate discussions in the firelight? Heh. Someone needs to teach George how to do that properly. I couldn't help but retch. He never would have gotten a passing grade in film school for that!