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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!

A quick note...

Happy Holidays to all!

That means MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
I will not be forced to change my ways to accomodate every possible culture, as the politically correct crowd wants. This is Christmas, it's still a nationally observed holiday, and I will stick by it. I won't have any of this "holiday tree" nonsense.

Starting today(after work), I am officially on vacation, and will be away until January 2, 2006. I don't suppose I'll be posting too often in that time. So Merry Christmas, happy holidays, with your families and friends, and happy new year!

Now I am off to Wimbledon!



p.s. that last line was just a reference to The Simpsons. I'm actually off to Oklahoma City. Extra points to anyone who can tell me which episode of The Simpsons that line comes from, and who said it!

The Super Mega Ultra Extra Deluxe Edition!

Every new DVD release I see nowadays has some sort of fancy hook on the packaging to get you to buy it. They put a shiny sticker on the cover, with those enticing words that lead you to believe you're buying something extraordinary, something those poor suckers at the theater never saw! oooooooh

Now they're getting inventive. It's no longer just the "unrated" edition. Now it's the "uncorked" edition(the upcoming Wedding Crashers DVD). And if the marketing department is really smart, they'll release the DVD in a bare-bones edition at first, so if you really want the movie, you'll have to settle for the no-extras version(and pay full price, to boot), then you can buy the ultra mega extended extra-racy edtion you wanted in the first place, when they release it at a later date(for a premium price), and they get your money twice. Of course you could "just wait for the special edition", but where's the fun in that?

And to all you people who say "I'll just wait for it to be released in High Definition Tivo"... well, I just plain don't like you.

Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto

Finally, something we have over the Japanese!

http://news.com.com/2300-1041_3-5998130-1.html?part=rss&tag=5998130&subj=news

I HATE MAIL-IN REBATES!!!

They get you all excited when you see the price tag on a particular item. You think "Wow, that's a steal!" Don't be so hasty. It may look good, but you have to stop and think about it. You won't get your rebates for at least half a century, so you have to tell yourself that you're actually paying regular price, you'll just get a nice little bit of money in the distant future for buying this product and mailing in some info.

I bought a mouse for my computer at work. There was a $20 mail-in rebate required to get the great price. I tell myself "No sweat. I'll get the $20 in no time." That was years ago! Well, not really, but is sure as heck seems like it. Every day I check my mail, absolutely sure that it's been much longer than 6 to 8 weeks since I sent off for that blasted rebate. I feel as if I'll be an old man, withered and weary, sittin' on the porch and taking in the nice breeze, when the local mail man will come walking by...

"Hello, Irv" I says to him.
"I've got something for you, buddy" he says to me.
"Hmph... not another letter from the local AARP chapter, is it?" I says to him.
"No, says here you've got a rebate from some rat company" he says to me.
"The rat people don't owe me any money. Or do they? My memory's not what it once was..." I says to him.

As he hands me the letter, a sensation sweeps through my mind, of warm nostalgia, remembering the time way back, when I bought a mouse for my computer(a big, clumsy, heavy box thing that was slower than a pocket calculator), and I had to mail in for the rebate. Oh, those were the good ol' days. There was a war going on, and mice were hot commodities...

And the winner is...

What is it that compels winners of awards to launch into spirited political tirades during their acceptance speeches?

As described in this article, the Nobel literature laureate Harold Pinter took the time to thank the Nobel people for giving him a chance to vent his political feelings that have very little to do with literature. He flat out accuses America and Britain for crime. As if it's our fault the deaths in Iraq occurred. According to Pinter, we invaded Iraq without precedent, and brought all the death and destruction ourselves. Heaven forbid he agree that Saddam and his regime was anything but a bunch of helpless little lambs who wouldn't hurt a fly. I got news for you, Pinter. The Baathist party would string you up by your nostrils and whip you senseless if you even said derogatory things to Saddam. Under his dictatorship, you didn't have the right to say what was truly on your mind. He basically says that the U.S. and "Big Corporations" are the cause of poverty, death, and the lack of free education, and those countries who sought the opposite of these things were just Communists, or at least were seen as such. Oh yes, Pinter, you're on to something here. Bring down the U.S., charge us for warcrimes, let the U.N. dictate how our foreign policy should be conducted. Sorry pal, but it will never happen. You seem to think that the U.S. wants the world to be in poverty and us to be its leader. Whatever. In fact, about 95% of his speech was all accusations of death and torture at the hands of the U.S. And let me tell you, it was looooong. It must have lasted several hours. He seems to know a great deal about all these world events, what with being an old playwright and all.

Stick to what you do. Write literature. Write plays. Make the world a better place through the use of literature, take the prize money and promote literacy, learning, peace. Leave the political tirades to Sean Penn.