I HATE MAIL-IN REBATES!!!

They get you all excited when you see the price tag on a particular item. You think "Wow, that's a steal!" Don't be so hasty. It may look good, but you have to stop and think about it. You won't get your rebates for at least half a century, so you have to tell yourself that you're actually paying regular price, you'll just get a nice little bit of money in the distant future for buying this product and mailing in some info.

I bought a mouse for my computer at work. There was a $20 mail-in rebate required to get the great price. I tell myself "No sweat. I'll get the $20 in no time." That was years ago! Well, not really, but is sure as heck seems like it. Every day I check my mail, absolutely sure that it's been much longer than 6 to 8 weeks since I sent off for that blasted rebate. I feel as if I'll be an old man, withered and weary, sittin' on the porch and taking in the nice breeze, when the local mail man will come walking by...

"Hello, Irv" I says to him.
"I've got something for you, buddy" he says to me.
"Hmph... not another letter from the local AARP chapter, is it?" I says to him.
"No, says here you've got a rebate from some rat company" he says to me.
"The rat people don't owe me any money. Or do they? My memory's not what it once was..." I says to him.

As he hands me the letter, a sensation sweeps through my mind, of warm nostalgia, remembering the time way back, when I bought a mouse for my computer(a big, clumsy, heavy box thing that was slower than a pocket calculator), and I had to mail in for the rebate. Oh, those were the good ol' days. There was a war going on, and mice were hot commodities...