The Monthly Expenses

So the time has come, to once again stop the insanity! The time has come to sit down, flesh out the monthly expenses, set up a time table, and pay those bills ON TIME!!! There is nothing more annoying than to get bill after bill of "You are past due!" and "We're gonna take your thumbs!" and so on. The calls are a pain in the prat also. I can feel the sting of the recent outsourcing mumbo jumbo, because the person on the other end has such a strong foreign accent that their English is a constant struggle. I swear the last call I received took all my effort just to understand the words that were being spoken to me! If these companies want people to pay their bills, then at least assign someone who is completely understandable to ask for the money! Why can't I have a house that sits above a vast, underground lake which, on the other side, sits a huge vault with stacks of gold coins and piles of cash, all hidden behind a revolving wall which has a secret opening mechanism that only I and a few close friends and family know how to access? Don't forget the super fun happy slide that takes you there! (p.s. I really like that Addams Family movie!)