It is your destiny!

I feel a great presence. It draws near. Tell your friends. Prepare yourselves. Feel the force. It is coming! For the first time on DVD, the Star Wars trilogy is being released September 21, 2004. I have been waiting for this for a long time! I always knew we would have the DVD format. I imagined watching movies on cd size discs in which we could go right to our favorite part of the movie and watch it again and again and again! Mark my words, this release will be the best selling DVD in existence...PERIOD!!! I vow to buy it, take it home, open it, admire the packaging, open the first of three, pop it into my DVD player, crank up the volume, and brace for impact! I shall not stop until I have watched every force-filled minute of all three films! I don't care how much of a zombie I will be afterwards, it will be well worth it! I will enjoy every single bit of the extra features on the fourth disc, and it will keep me happy until May of 2005, when the final film of the series will be released. The circle will be complete. The Star Wars films were truly the first to fully take hold of my imagination and to this day nothing else has even come close. From the first heart-pumping chase scene to the final confrontation where Luke defeats his Father, I will be in awe of the greatest adventure in film history. I am so ready for this!

Kodiak strikes again

kodiaklogo
Originally uploaded by Kodiak.

Here is my new namesake logo. Created in Photoshop CS.

What a jerk

So here we have an act of sabotage. Some jerk spectator, all dressed in costume, attacks and wrestles the leader in the men's marathon to the ground, causing him to lose the race. I wonder if the olympic comittee will make the gold winner give back his medal, since he probably shouldn't have won. As for the saboteur, they should ban him from any and every major sporting event on earth, make him an object of ridicule and release his name to the public, so we all can know who he is and how to avoid him. I wonder who paid him off.

Attack of the Clowns

Is it the hair?

So the great Don King is voting for Bush!! How weird is that? I guess he is not as crazy as he looks. Don King knows that the Republican way is all about capitalism and opportunity for all. Under the liberal Democratic umbrella, a person like him would be forced to give up much of his money to the poor fools who don't work at all, but depend on the Government to provide for them. Don Knows better.

Expect the Unexpected

I guess irony can be pretty ironic sometimes.-Homer Simpson.

So the two tall towering liberal daughters of John Kerry go to the land of make believe: MTV land, and make their case for their dad. This is the MTV music awards, a place where many artists of very little real talent are showered with praise and allowed to stand above all the little peons because they are so much better than all the regular folks, or so they are told far too often. This is usually a place where liberals can speak out to the young music community with very little retaliation.
The highlight of the evening had to be when the Kerry daughters got drowned out by boos from the crowd!! One of them even tried to shush them, but to no avail. Ahh, the tides are turning! I wonder if Linda Ronstadt will do a duet with Michael Moore to try to heal the wounds of the shunned Kerry daughters...

Speaking of daughters, the Bush twins are much better! Barbara and Jenna Bush. What with their past drinking problems, the MTV crowd probably loves them. That Barbara is a real looker! ;)

Alice Rocks!!!

I became a fan of Alice Cooper ever since his appearance in the movie Wayne's World, shattering that rock star image by sitting around the room quietly talking history and word origins while sipping on champagne. His response to the other musicians using their vast musical talent to make a dumb political statement is just great. Made me stand up, pump my fist in the air and shout Alice Rocks!!!!!!

Read all the juicy tidbits here

To Tom Tomorrow

Here is a recent email I sent to Tom Tomorrow, creator of the utterly useless comic called This Modern World. It is the most partisan, liberal, one sided, unfunny piece of garbage ever published. This guy has absolutely no room for truth in his comic. Pick up a free copy of the Dallas Observer to find the latest strip. His web address: www.thismodernworld.com


Here's a few jokes.

You're so liberal...
Babs Streisand is pissed at you for taking all her thunder.
Dave Matthews is considering dumping the next tour's worth of bus waste on you.
Michael Moore is challenging you to a fart contest.
The students at Berkeley want you to teach them liberal rhetoric 101.
Rush Limbaugh thinks you are funny.
Uber Journalist Helen Thomas wants you to prepare her eulogy.

You're so partisan...
Rev. Al Sharpton is calling you up for pointers.
The 200+ swift boat vet liars are targeting you next.
You're a little unbalanced.
Scratch that last one. You are a dog chasing its tail.
You are the opposite of Derek Zoolander: you can't turn right.
Michael Moore wants you to write the forward for his next book.
But, Michael Moore wouldn't put any references to your comic into his "documentary" because he didn't want people to think it was based on conspiracy theories.

You're so unfunny...
Carrot Top is considered a genius compared to you.
The comic strip Dilbert is considered side splittingly, knee slappingly, tear jerkingly hilarious compared to you.
Bob Dole gets more laughs than you.

Your comic is so one-sided, unfunny, and pointless...
Not even a single newspaper in France wants to syndicate you.
Only trendy, drunk, dumb ass, Dallas area clubbers will get anything useful from it.
Only voters with an IQ of 1 will use the information to help them decide who to vote for.

In light of all these priceless jokes, I would very much appreciate if you would give me credit for them if you use them on your website or elsewhere, and that you pay me some money for them also. $100 per joke per usage should do it.

Thanks for creating a worthless comic strip.

Sincerely,
Kodiak
Dallas, Tx

Kerry B/W

Kerry B/W, originally uploaded by Kodiak.

I knew these swift boat shenanigans would come back to haunt me!

Nipplegate

Janet Jackson is starting to upset me. Not only did she and Justin Timberlake perform a major taboo on live television with practically the whole country watching, she now insists that all the controversy is only there because the Bush White House wanted it to distract the country from what was happening in Iraq. She has now reportedly retracted her apology. Says she shouldn't have apologized for an accident because it makes her look guilty. That is preposterous. If it was an accident, why on earth were you two singing about getting down and dirty and ripping eachother's clothes off? And why did Justin try to rip your top off anyway if you weren't prepared for the consequences of any so called "wardrobe malfunction"? I also didn't know you liked wearing little star thingies on your thingies! Anyway, if you think I am going to believe that it was all just a big mistake in the first place and that Bush's White House used that split second opportunity to mislead the country about the situation in Iraq, you are more crazy than your brother Michael!!!!
Honestly, all these conspiracy theories are getting Moore rediculous. -A little play on words, there ;)

Swift Boat Vets Fiasco

I thought I'd chime in on the current event plaguing the news: the Swift Boat Vets for Truth. Now, I am far too young to have much to say about the whole Vietnam thing, and really only know about it from the movies I have seen, which is to say, not very much. War is never an easy thing to deal with. There are always those who believe that it was wholly unnecessary to put so many lives on the line. With Mr. Kerry touting his brave service to his country through his 4 whole months in Vietnam and his subsequent smearing of all the efforts of our troops by testifying to the Senate and protesting the war for the whole world to see, I believe he has brought all this upon himself. To say that the Swift Boat Vets for Truth T.V. ad should be removed from the airwaves is wholly unfair. If it is removed, then "documentaries" like Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11 should be removed from theaters, T.V., and DVD. Only then would it be fair. Then you would have the liberals crying that their "free speech" has been trampled on. They should concede that free speech is for EVERYBODY and not just themselves!!
This article from the National Review puts it in the perspective of all those vets who are trying to defend their part in that war and regaining the honor John Kerry took from them.

Swift Boat Vets

Here is another article focusing on John Kerry's "Hypocrisy". Please read it before passing judgement. Owens' take on Hypocrisy

Out with the old...

Been cleaning out the apartment. I haven't tackled those closets in ages. There is so much crap I don't know what to do with it. Much of it is now basura. (That's Spanish for those who know it not)
The other stuff is going to the thrift store and if they don't want it, it will also become basura. (Spanish again)
Next up are the bathroom and kitchen cabinets. Lots of basura in there that needs to be chucked out of the pad. It is always a good feeling to clean up the house and admire your handiwork. On the other hand, it is a bad feeling to let the house go so long without being cleaned, but that is the way of life for the lazy man such as myself. I just need a good kick in the pants.

A bit o' funny

Here's a little humor for my friend Yui ;)

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... high notes on the organ set
the dogs on the floor to howling.

GirlieThrow

GirlieThrow, originally uploaded by Kodiak.

I needed a good laugh.

T.G.I.F.

I am SOOOOO looking forward to this weekend. The week started ok but soon plummeted and needs to be balanced out. I need some R&R. Luckily I got a bottle of Vox waiting for me. ;)

Moore gets book deal

Michael Moore is at it again. He is going to publish a book containing all the letters sent to him by troops in Iraq.

"I'm proud to give voice to the troops who have written to me," Moore said in a statement issued by Simon & Schuster.

I wonder if he will share the vast profits this book is bound to generate with the soldiers who have written to him? If he really wants to give them a voice, he'll repay all of them a fair share of the profits. That's the liberal way. They should all get an equal amount of the profits, even if they didn't contribute very much. Nah. He'll grow more fat off of those troops and will use every word to further his slanderous campaign.

Here's the story, of a big fat liar...

I need to vent

I don't like when it rains in the morning. In Dallas, when it rains, it pours, and it causes havok. The roads flood like nobody's business, people tend to drive erratically, and visibility is quite poor. It stayed fairly dark this morning and only now is it starting to lighten up a little. Thankfully the free birthday carwash I was privy to a week ago didn't go to waste. Usually the rains come even if I have the slightest inkling of washing my car: "Hey, maybe I'll wash my car today. Say...is that thunder I hear? Yikes, I don't like the look of those dark clouds." and so it goes.
What is the deal with I-635? It seems that the heaviest rain always occurs right around the junction of I-635 and I-35. Those numbers just don't mix.

What's goin' on

Did you ever see that episode of the Simpsons that showed a quick shot of protesters outside a government building holding signs that say "Everything's Fine" and "I'm O.K."? That's how I feel about things right now.

Pierre Cardin strikes again

As promised, I wore my new suit to work today, and I gotta tell you, I felt just like a junior executive, all done up proper with my coat and tie; took off the coat and hung it up on the coat hanger in the back seat of my car for the ride to work, just like those people who wear suits to work every day do. Now all I need is a significant pay increase, a BMW or a Mercedes, and at least one more suit and I will be a full fledge executive type! Then I can drink frappuccino and have that band follow me around during the day singing my name and that I am the eye of the tiger and the king of my cube and that I can one day be: Supervisor!
I just have to get used to the semi-choking feeling of wearing a tie all day.

Now that it's over...

...my Mom can come down from her high anxiety perch and rest a while. The wedding went smoothly, the youngest done got hitched up, they both done flew to Orlando managing to avoid any bad weather, painted the town red, and are now tired and safe. Next on the list is the coming of the two new young 'uns. A double shot of baby boys! And my sisters are very pregnant, though they need to be told they are not that pregnant. Guess it is a girl thing. Needless to say I am looking forward to it. Two nephews to mold in my image. Then once they're grown a bit, we can get together and make some tents and get some peanut butter and it'll be great. Problem is the timing. They are scheduled about 2 weeks apart, so anything can happen between those weeks, and I hope I can manage to get up there for both of their births. I done took part in all three sisters' weddings and the birth of the first niece, and will be darnded if anyone or anything will stop me from being there for the birth of my first two nephews. No, the youngest is not the pregnant one; only two of the bridesmaids bore the telltale bulge. Now the reception was stupendous, and where can I get more of those homemade devil's food cakes??? OOHHHH they were fantabulous!!! Swiped 5 of them afterwards; wish I had taken the whole platter!

Update 8-23-04 I have just been informed by my newlywed baby sister that the devil's food cakes were not homemade, but were from some store in New Jersey or somewhere and are called "Tasty Cakes" which to me sounds an awful lot like a homemade name. Something some sweet lady would make for the local church bake sale. Anyway, they are the bestest!

Clad in the finest shimmering samite...

Going to JCPenney @ Stonebriar Mall to pick up my suit today. This will be the first suit I have ever purchased. Not that I have never worn a suit before; attending churh every Sunday leaves plenty of opportunities to don the coat and tie. I am preparing for my sister's wedding. And this suit is nice!!! It has a lovely textured look to it: the light colored threads are in sort of a very small block pattern that plays off the navy colored ones giving it a depth and style much better than basic blue. Kudos, Pierre Cardin. Now I can say that I do own a suit, notwithstanding the fact that I will wear it probably 3 times a year at best.

The Big Two Seven

Well, the day has come. I woke up this morning a year older. How does it feel? Can't say it feels much different. Still behind on the bills. Still wondering when I will get out of debt. Still wondering when my credit rating will rise higher than -99.9...
I guess it feels different, since I am soon to be called to attend my 10 year high school reunion. Next May I will get letters, but will not answer them. I knew maybe 3 or 4 people in High School I could call "friends", but the chances of them turning up are just as slim as mine. Going to school in Oklahoma City has disadvantages to those who didn't go to school there their entire life. It seemed like everyone knew everyone because they all went to the same school and grew up together. This is a concept lost to me. Having lived in no less than seven states while growing up tends to require more than one school. I don't really mind this. I met many good people along the way. Now that my youngest sister is getting married in a couple days and I am the only child left single, I am obligated to settle in somewhere and start a family. All in due time. All in due time.

Quote of the month

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

Les Triplettes de Belleville (****)

I just watched the most odd, surrealistic, original, creative, amazing film. The animated film The Triplets of Belleville is visually mesmerizing, very funny, oddly captivating. Do not watch this film and expect to ask questions. The idea behind this film is not to ask why, but to just go with it and take it all in. It involves caricatured characters and caricatured locations, beautiful animation with some cel shaded computer animated models thrown in. Think of recent movies like Disney's Atlantis: The Lost Empire and The Iron Giant. The main character is an elderly woman who trains her grandson to compete in the Tour de France. He is kidnapped, along with other cyclists and taken to another place, to be used in Mafia gambling games. She and her dog trek far and wide to get him back with the aid of the Triplets of Belleville, a performance group who's heyday was back in the thirties. This dreamy ride is spectacular and most likely the most original film you'll ever see. Very Highly Recommended.

The talkin'est thing you ever saw...

Quote: "I like to let people talk, who like to talk. It lets me find out how full of $#!+ they are."
-Jackie Chan
Rush Hour

Some folks like to talk. Sometimes, I like to listen. Sometimes, folks like to talk incessantly about one mediocre subject. Those times, I don't like to listen. Case in point: 1996 or thereabouts. The Art Institute of Dallas(where I went to college). There once was a person who liked to talk. During lunch, he would be hanging out with his posse, just "discussing", something artistic types(read: nerds) like to do to great lengths. This guy decided to explain to the world the many reasons why he hated the song "Stay" by Lisa Loeb. On and on he went, dissecting the song into tiny little pieces, every one hated by him, and he told everyone this, again, at great length. Oh, how I wanted to smack him upside the head and say: "Yes, I hate the song too. WE GET THE IDEA NOW DROP IT!!!!!!" It reminds me of just about any movie with Quentin Tarantino in it. Especially Resovoir Dogs in which he explains to his posse why the song "Like a Virgin" is not what it seems. If you've seen the scene in question you'd know what I'm talking about. This man would not shut up. Don't worry, he along with all his cohorts gets off'ed at some point during the movie.
This behavior brings to mind a certain phrase created by a buddy of mine oh so many years ago. It went something like this:
Please use discretion among public relations. If you do not use discretion, you are a jakalhead. In other words: YOU ARE A JAKALHEAD!

Poker Night

Wednesday Nights are no longer spent at the local Country Club watchin' movies that are all but impossible to hear, due to the horrid sound system, low volume, and two or three dumb guys at the bar vying for loudest possible voice at any given time. New movie Tuesday was always the reasoning behind this Wednesday night gathering. Now, times are spent at a friend's house playing poker with the new chips I bought. These aren't wimpy chips. These aren't wafer thin plastic junk chips you buy from Wal-Mart. These are the real deal. 11.5 gram "dice" chips. Plus a new transport mechanism for all my poker stuff that is just snazzy. Mind you, we do not gamble with money, that's what the chips are for. ;)
Texas Hold 'em; 5 card draw, stud; Mexican Sweat, 5 card, 7 card, throw a couple wild cards in for good measure. Now that's fun.