The Scientology Report

Anyone here into Scientology?
That wacky religion that has enraptured so many Hollywood stars?

Tom Cruise and John Travolta are just the tip of the iceberg.
Here's a short list of celebrities that have jumped on the crazy bandwagon: http://abcnews.go.com/US/popup?id=884952

The only good thing I'll say for Scientology is they oppose all drugs. Drugs are bad, mmkay?

Scientology was created for the express desire to make money. L. Ron Hubbard said that himself.
In the words of the great Jiminy Glick, Scientology is a religion where "you go into the desert and there's this ship somewhere, and then you sign a huge check, and if you don't, they'll kill you."

I'll bet Tom Cruise would love to have a frank and earthy discussion about this with me. Whadda ya say, Tom? Care to enlighten me?

Box Office Projection

Box Office Mojo

The domestic totals for Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith as of Tuesday, June 28th are at around 360 Million. They are projecting that it will be near 400 Million by the end of its run. The foreign box office is slightly higher, but only slightly.

That is, until it opens in Japan.

The Japanese will get their chance on July 9.
Watch the grosses shoot WAAAAAAY up!!! Japan is mega big on Star Wars, and this being the final film in the saga, the box office will be supernatural. I predict that Japan alone will nearly double Episode III's foreign box office. Now that's quite a tall order, you say. And you'd be right, but I am confident that Japan will go NUTS for this movie!!!

Just you watch.

All rolled into one

So a new gay channel is due to debut. Logo. Does anyone care? According to imdb.com, the channel has drawn very little protest. Maybe it's because there are so many gay shows already filling the airwaves, that a whole channel devoted to them means very little. There's a gay character in just about every show on TV at the moment. So why should the family and religious groups protest it? I'm sure they've spent enough time already protesting the gay direction of television. I think we all know their stance on the subject.

On a side note, how much you wanna bet Logo plays Queer as Folk non-stop?

Scroll down to read the tolerant news

The Nephews

Here's a shot of the nephews, Austin Wood on the left and Samuel North on the right. They're gonna be best buddies.

Just testing

Here's a photo of my nephew, Austin Wood.

Ain't he cute?!


Blogger has just added a picture feature. Now I can upload photos as easy as posting. Blogger rules!

The Fantastic Four **

Retitle to: the unnecessary film.

If you've seen Spiderman, if you've seen X-Men, if you've seen Batman Begins, then you don't need to see this movie. There are much better comic book movies out there, so don't bother.

I was invited to a free trade screening last night at the Cinemark Tinsletown in Plano. At least if it was free.

The Fantastic Four is about these four cats who go into space to prepare for the oncoming wave of some sort of energy that, according to the lead character, is the supposed source of evolution on earth. If they can harness this energy, they can create new medicine to help the sick, they can help mankind evolve in better ways, yada yada. Well, long story short, they go up there, but the energy wave hits hours before planned, and they are pelted with it, and it alters their DNA in fantastic ways. Funny how it has completely different effects for every character, 'cause what's the point of having four fantastic heroes with the same boring power?

So after the blast wave hits, the movie cuts to the hospital, after they got back to earth, and all the peeps in the theater wondered if the projectionist had missed a reel. If the movie is really cut this way, someone should fire the editor.

The main drawback with this film is it's too convenient. They have the uniforms, so why not be superheroes? One of them is bad, so of course they have use their new powers to fight him. Two of our heroes are old flames, so they'll have to get back together in the end. One of them is a human rock, so naturally his wife will abandon him, and the only one who truly understands him is blind, but she knows better than to judge someone on outward apperance, so they must get together. The bad guy is defeated in the end, but there has to be a sequel, so we'd better keep bring him back somehow. Also, the bad guy doesn't like his new outward apperance, so he wears a mask, which was a present from a fictional country for his work there, so naturally the helmet is bulletproof and really evil-looking. Plus there's plenty of stupid dialog and bad one-liners, so you'll at least get a good laugh. I was disappointed with the dumbness of the flick, only because the actors do such a good job with their dopey characters. Ioan Gruffudd, who plays Mr. Fantastic, does a wonderful job, as do the other Fantastic 2. Sorry, but Jessica Alba is only there for eye candy.

This film will get some decent box office, but it will be very disappointing to folks who are expecting another Spiderman. Repeat business, this film will NOT get.

Howl's Moving Castle ***

Here's another fantasy Disney-like movie from the master of Japanese Animation: Hayao Miazaki. If you've ever seen the movie Spirited Away, made by the same people, you'll know what to expect in this film. Although, I though Spirited Away was a much better movie.
The English dub is fair, but only fair. I am not a fan of English dubs, no matter how word-heavy a movie is. I'd much rather hear the original dialog by the original actors, which in Japanese animation is usually much better. I did like the English actor, Emily Mortimer, who portrayed the heroin. She has a very lovely voice that fits the (young)character well. The hero, Howl, was played by Christian Bale, and I hated his work here. It was crap, though the original Japanese actor might have sounded like this, but it's still crap. One of the biggest downfalls of an English dub is the fact that they try to match the mouth movements of the characters, so the dialog sounds quite odd and has terrible pacing. It always detracts from the scene. It just doesn't register with us, because we don't speak that way, so it always sounds oddly forced and out of step.

I watched it at the Magnolia theater downtown Dallas. Overall it was a great presentation, the sound was wonderful and the film picture was pretty clear and not too soft.

On the heels of Spirited Away, this film just seems like an afterthought. If you haven't seen a Miyazaki film in the theater yet, here's your chance. Go and have fun.

http://disney.go.com/disneypictures/castle/

T minus 30,240 minutes and counting

I thought I'd update you all on the upcoming Harry Potter book.

Only 21 days left! I never in my life thought I'd anticipate the release of a new book so much! Who'da thunk it.

Check out http://www.the-leaky-cauldron.org/ for everything Harry Potter.

Runaway Home

First she leaves her fiance at the altar. No word at all. Then she disappears completely. Family and friends fear kidnapping. Authorities are now involved, lending their support and resources to help find this poor woman. Has she been kidnapped? Why did she disappear? Is she even still alive??? The sense of pain and longing must have been great. The stress her close family and friends endured surely took its toll. The police use their precious manpower to search for this missing woman. Then, Mom gets a call. Her daughter is on the other end. She tells her mother she is safe, that she didn't want to go through with the wedding. She has not been kidnapped, though she originally told the New Mexico police that she had. The tireless efforts of her family, friends, and the police force are all in vain. She got cold feet. Oh well, that's just fine and dandy. The police surely don't mind using their resources and taxpayer dollars to find a woman who doesn't need to be found. Hey, while we're at it, lets pay her $500,000 for the rights to use her selfish little stunt as basis for the next Lifetime movie of the week. We all know that a runaway bride story is always in fashion. Meanwhile, crime is rising, children are constantly being hurt by OTHER CHILDREN, lives are lost each and every day, but one woman's tearjerking flight from the altar is prime time news. And worth half a million dollars, maybe more, according to the alleged fact that the family was in talks with a competing network to try to squeeze out a little bit more, just to pay those annoying phone bills one must make to call home and tell the search party not to bother. If Katie Couric lands the *Exclusive* first interview back from your horrible little ordeal, then you should damand top dollar for your story. As the producers of your new TV movie earn much needed advertising revenue and get a tremendous boost in their weekly ratings, Hollywood once again sends out the signal that it is ok to lead people on, to think only for yourself, to waste the police's time; in fact, it warrants rewarding. Half a million dollars worth. How much would her family have put up for a reward had she been missing for more than a month or so? I guess she didn't think that far ahead. But that's ok, because once her movie deal is finalized, she can afford some Ginko Biloba to help her memory. Heck, if her family lives in a crappy house, they can call the producers of Extreme Makeover, Home Edition to come and fix it up. I see a crossover in the works. What's next, a new reality show about runaway brides? I can smell the drama from here.

As much as I love my country, it absolutely sickens me to see this. Gone are the days that true hard work and decent living will earn you money and self esteem. Now you have to become national news to get anywhere. This woman should watch the coverage of that poor high school girl who is missing in Aruba. She needs a dose of reality. And little miss bug-eyed runaway bride, her husband, and family, should take each and every dollar made from her TV movie deal and give it to the police force that so graciously helped look for her, and to her community. Jennifer Wilbanks doesn't deserve a single dime of it.

Quote of the week

“Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!”
-Peter Sellers
Dr. Strangelove, 1964

I just love this movie! Peter Sellers in his multi-role comedic tour de force performance had me in stitches. A true classic film. This quote just recently was named #64 of the greatest movie quotes of all time, according to the American Film Institute.

Oh and by the way, number 8 on that list was "May the Force be with you." How about that?!?! Makes me smile 8)

Oooh, it makes me wonder...

Why does Fox News refer to the world's most wanted terrorist as "Usama" bin Laden, yet just about every other news organization refers to him as "Osama" bin Laden?

Just wondering...

Batman Begins ****

Imagine that the gods of comic book-inspired movies saw what has become of the Batman franchise and rained down their wrath upon the masses. The palette has been cleansed, and Batman has begun anew. This time around, they did it right. Gone are the utterly rediculous theatrics of the 60s camp-style Batman films. Gone are the nipples on the Batsuit, thankfully! Gone are the super fantasy elements that made Batman a joke. This time, we see a real human being fighting injustice in a bat suit, but it is much more believeable. The story is handled in a realistic manner, and the movie feels very real. It is hard-hitting, and visceral. Acting all around is excellent. Michael Caine is inspiring as Alfred. Liam Neeson kicks all kind of butt in his super cool role. Christian Bale is perfect as the young Bruce Wayne. His origin story is compelling, and we are not left shifting in our seats, waiting for him to just put on the bat suit and start kicking evil's butt. We are kept glued to our seats, eager to know how and why.

The music is also very well done. It was a joint effort by two very well known composers, Hanz Zimmer, and James Newton Howard.

The biggest nitpick I have with the movie is the handling of the action sequences. In most of them, the camera is very close to the action, and the cuts are quick and dizzying. Batman has learned many powerful fighting arts, and we don't get to see him use his skills. Everything is such a blur, you can't even follow Batman, which is a real shame, because his brand of scum-cleansing justice is what makes him a terror to the crime world around him. Instead, we are blasted with a whole lot of nothing. I like to remember the fight between 006 and 007 in Goldeneye. It was fast, yet we could see the hits, and how two well trained fighters would handle eachother. Sadly, we don't get to see that here. On the upside, that is only one downside to this great film.

Batman Begins is sure to make a killing at the box office, and rightfully so. Go see it!

Click here for the official site, and to see some killer flash animation.

Shatnerama

I've mentioned in previous posts how funny I think William Shatner is. He's at a point in his career that he can pretty much do what he wants. He's done the acting thing, he's done the singing thing, he's done the commercials. And now, he does a super funny spoof of the movie Seven. That's saying a lot, because Seven is not a funny movie. Not by a long shot.

If you've not seen that movie, fear not, for there is still plenty of funny stuff going on for those who don't get who or why or when or what. Just watch Shatner spoof his many talents and mannerisms. This is the good stuff!

From National Review Online's Blog Row section titled "The Corner", posted Wednesday, June 15th @ 4:47pm: Shatner-rama

Apple Rulez!

The new version of Apple's operating system called OS X "Tiger" has been on my Mac computer here at work for a few weeks now. I am loving it. There are a number of useful improvements over the previous OS X incarnation known as "Panther". One of which is the improved version of Safari, Apple's web browser, counterpart to Internet Explorer, Microsoft's web browser. A very useful feature of is the inclusion of RSS feeds into the browser, which allows me to monitor the addition of new articles. I can see what's been posted recently, and I don't even have to subscribe to anything! It's all there for me. It has helped me find new topics to write about, this one included!

Also included with the new operating system is a program called "Dashboard". It is a nifty little program that allows for the inclusion of little thingies called "widgets", which are cute little things like a clock, address book, weather watcher, TV show information searcher, dictionary/thesaurus, and other fun things, and they are able to float on my desktop and I can put them anywhere I want, plus they reside in a single program, so they all appear and disappear with the touch of a button. Microsoft can't claim anything as cool as that. Fun fun fun!

Under the guise of Medicine

Here's an article from the New York Times regarding medical marijuana. It features a store in San Francisco that sells chocolate infused with marijuana and such items. It is an utter joke, and is clearly not truly in business to help people. Judging from the picture of items made to look like candy bars such as Baby Ruth, Snickers, and Reese's Peanut Butter cups, I see it as nothing more than an excuse to distribute pot to party people. Just look at the picture of the "patrons" that browse the shop. They are college kids who look like they do nothing but party. It disgusts me to see that. Tell me that looks legit to you. Of course, you have to have a doctor's recommendation to get in, but how hard is it to get that? Not very.

You must register with nytimes.com to read the article, but it's free to do so, and I urge you to see it for yourself. That it comes out of San Francisco doesn't surprise me. They'll soon be renaming San Francisco to New Amsterdam.

The Chocolate Factory?

An Entertainment Revolution

Not too many object can achieve the status of "cultural phenomenon", but Apple's iPod has had a significant cultural impact in the consumer market. iPods are selling like hotcakes, and are shaping the way we entertain ourselves on the go. I'm very proud to say I own an iPod, and I use it every single day. I especially like it for travel. I take trips to visit the family in Oklahoma City, a 3 1/2 hour drive, yet with my iPod hooked up to my car stereo, the ride is always more enjoyable. The iPod's form and function are superb, and its design is beautiful. I'll use it until it completely dies. Then I will bury it, after I've prepared a nice eulogy. Long live the iPod!!

Read about the iPod Revolution

Dinner with the Documentarian

Recently, my folks had dinner with a filmmaker who is making a documentary based on the life of Dr. James Klagas, one of my Dad's Chiropractic patients.

Dr. Klagas has Multiple Sclerosis, a debilitating desease that affects your entire body. At times his disease was so bad, he couldn't go a single day without falling to the ground. MS causes you to lose sense of your limbs, so he didn't know where his foot was in relation to the ground and he would fall. He had to deal with severe pain in his entire body.
Dr. Klagas is a trumpeter and was the premiere soloist for the US Marine Band, whose primary job is to provide music for the President. At the worst times, he could not even hold his trumpet up to his mouth. He had been to every doctor and neurologist, taken steroids, etc. Nothing helped. Until he met my Dad, and was treated with Gonstead Chiropractic. After a short time of treatment, Dr. Klagas has regained almost everything he lost with his MS. He hasn't fallen to the ground since, and is now able to play the piano again, after 10 years. He can do simple things we all take for granted! Through his Gonstead Chiropractic treatment, he regained the ability to button his shirt, and tie his shoes, things he was unable to do due to his Multiple Sclerosis disease. A nice article on the subject can be found here.

The documentary will be about Dr. Klagas and his MS, and my Dad, Dr. Dennis Doan, and his treatment with Gonstead Chiropractic. I hope it proves very educational and informative for those who are afflicted with this disease, or any other ailment. It is very important that everyone at least learn of the various methods of treatment. Most important of all is to never give up hope.

On a side note, the filmmaker has met both Steven Spielberg AND George Lucas! Pretty nifty.

Is there any more pot?

What's the point of legalizing "medical" marijuana? It's a drug, plain and simple. Like all other drugs, it has harmful side effects. But, like all other drugs, it only masks the problem, it doesn't fix anything. Sure, it'll ease your pain, but you'll still get that pain time and time again until the problem is fixed. Most often, it is nerve interference. Your spine is out of alignment and your body is not functioning to its full potential. It's causing bodily systems to degrade, and your immune system doesn't do its job. Marijuana will take your pain away, and it will ruin your wits. You can't do anything useful while you're feeling its effects. They only last for a short while anyway. Besides, like just about every other perscription drug, aside from the laundry list of side effects, it is also very easy to abuse. You become addicted, all the while your original problem is still there and nothing has improved. So why make it legal? It doesn't fix anything.

Pot shots

Required Reading

Weddings and Weekends

Finally! Another chance to wear my new suit!

Fairly recently, I went to my youngest sister's wedding. I had to buy a suit for the occasion. To some people, not having a suit is like not having clothes at all. Some men wear a suit every single day. To me, suits were for Church when I was a kid. I have not had to wear a suit in my profession, and Church doesn't require me to wear a suit, though I still like to dress up and at least not wear jeans, shorts, and sandals, as so many new churchgoers have resorted to, as if Church is just a little get together with friends. True, friends should get together and celebrate the allmighty creator, but to go in shorts and sandals is very wrong in my opinion. At least make it a point to look your Sunday best. Since when is it ok to look like you just came from a barbeque? Show some respect for God, at least.

Anyway, acceptable Church attire aside, I have another wedding to go to this weekend. My younger cousin is getting married, to a very nice young man. Geez, don't I sound like an old guy? You know, that's what my friends used to call me: the grumpy old man. Keep in mind that these friends were in high school while I was learning to tie my shoes and playing dodgeball during recess.

I am getting a barrage of emails from my parents reminding me to bring my suit! I actually enjoy wearing a suit every now and then. I just need to get used to that tight collar and tie.

What's in a name?

I'm sure you've wondered by now why I call myself Kodiak. Is it where you're from? The great white North? No. Are you a bear? No, far too skinny, though I'm quite furry. I'd like to explain the origin behind my online handle. You know, you can't be a computer nerd without an online handle. If ever you get your computer worked on, to ensure the best service, just ask your technician what his online handle is. If he gives you a blank stare, don't trust him! If he gives you one or two online handles, depending on what forum/chatroom he is referring to, then you know your computer is in good hands!

Anyway, the name Kodiak came from an episode of Ren and Stimpy. It's only half a name, actually. In the episode called The Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen(yes, there is a cartoon with that title. Imagine that.), Ren and Stimpy take a long journey through the harsh Canadian tundra. During their quest, they encounter the Kodiak Marmoset! It's the world's largest...smallest primate. It belts out a tremendous roar, then procedes to bash Ren's head in with its fist! (Ren is the Chihuahua) I loved the character so much, I wanted to use his name to refer to my online self, but then I thought, I don't like taking someone else's brilliant idea and mooching off of it, so I took just Kodiak. I guess I though it sounded cool.

The great mystery has been solved. You may now rest easy tonight. Go back to your lives, citizens.

Lead, don't follow

And now, here's Wintel's latest attempt at playing catch-up with the innovation of Apple Computer. They call it "Pandora". It's made by AOpen, it includes Intel's Pentium M proccessor, and its outer shell is almost an exact replica of the Mac Mini. Dear, oh dear. This doesn't say much for the Wintel community. Can't they come up with their own ideas once in a while?

Attack of the Clones?

The Death of a Legend

A legend sometimes involves a powerful distortion of fact. It often elevates its subject to stratospheric heights thus solidifying its "legendary" status. But today, I speak of a past location where magic took place. The subject of this post had no involvement with fact distortion. This place became the legend it is today, only after it was wiped off the map. It is mentioned off and on in the DFW Fanforce forum. It was THE place to go to watch movies. To experience the cinema. General Cinema, that is. The Northpark General Cinema I & II is a legend. It is a Dallas legend that is revered for its excellence. It is a once mighty pinnacle of the American cinematic experience. It's truly a shame that it no longer exists. To date, very few cinemas in the Dallas area can even come close to the perfect picture and THX sound that the Northpark I & II produced. In my mind, the only cinema that can equal the visual quality would be the DLP theater in Cinemark Legacy of Plano, TX. The only cinema that could match the sound quality was the Galaxy 10 theater of Garland, TX. I say "was" because they lost their THX license. Their best audio presentation ever was with Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. To this day, not one single theater I've been to has ever even come close. I was so blown away by the perfection of audio that I shun just about every new movie I watch with contempt at its unworthy audio. But back to the real hero here, the Northpark General Cinema 1 was where I saw Titanic. Man oh man, when the ship started to break up, the cracking of the floorboards and the breaking of dishes just shook me to the core! I felt like I was inside the ship as the destruction commenced. WOW! And the film picture was so crystal clear, the accuracy was phenomenal!

Unfortunately, most audiences just don't care for quality. Let's face it, when it comes to the cinema, we certainly don't hold a candle to Cannes. Most don't demand a quality cinematic experience. Most are content to just buy some popcorn, see the flick, babble incessantly about this and that and go back to their daily lives, unmoved by the cinematic jem that was just ruined by the theater's lack of quality and the moviegoer's lack of high standards.

As ticket prices steadily rise higher and higher, so to must our demand for the best possible quality presentation. The movie makers are constantly upping the ante in terms of movie magic. It's up to the theater owners to convey that magic to us in the best possible means.

Follow this link for a rare inside glimps of the perfection that was Northpark General Cinema I & II:
View the Legend

The Longest What?

Did anyone catch the new Sandler movie?


Me neither.

That's not to say I'm not an Adam Sandler fan, because I am. Happy Gilmore is the greatest thing to happen to golf since Chevy Chase and his mantric "mananananana". Adam's short, bit part in Coneheads was brilliant. Try to watch him sing that showtune in Billy Madison and not laugh!

Sandler's appeal aside, I have no desire to pay money to see The Longest Yard. This time, I can wail 'till the DVD release, something my parents are constantly suggesting I do. Even then, I will most likely not buy the DVD. I can only stand so much of Chris Rock, and with his loud, gritting, ear-splitting voice being featured in two movies at once, well, I don't have the capacity to handle that. Even though Madagascar looks like a fun movie, I won't let my movie dollars go anywhere else in the next couple weeks other than Star Wars Episode III. We Star Wars fans have a responsibility. Nay, a higher calling. We must do all we can to give Titanic a run for its only slightly well deserved money. It has been the box office "king of the world!" long enough. We must rally together, and make Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, the biggest box office smash of all time. Are ya with me?!?!